What I Learned In St. Louis...

What I Learned In St. Louis...

Andy surprises mom and comments on Guitar Hero, Big Brother and Provel cheese.

Well I spent my long weekend in St. Louis where I surprised me Mum on her birthday with my presence. My presence, as they say, was my present. Here's what I learned in St. Louis:

St. Louis is Ga-Ga for Patti "The Millionaire Matchmaker" Stanger! I cannot tell you how many people asked me about her and whether she is "for real". She, like all our other kings and queens of Bravo Docuseries, is very much for real. And guess what, St. Loo: there's a new episode of her show on tonight. Hollah!

My nephew taught me how to play Guitar Hero, the video game that swept the country long enough ago for there to have been a hilarious "South Park" episode about it last fall. What I learned is that Guitar Hero is very very hard. And, like "South Park" intoned, it really is sad that kids would rather play guitar hero than actually learn to play a flippin' guitar!

I learned that the "moxie" DVR system available on Charter Cable in the Midwest seems a little bit more technically up to date than my Time Warner DVR. But I think Time Warner's voting options rule!

I learned that the mental retardation that has typically run rampant in the Big Brother house is alive and well on the late night live feeds on Showtime After dark. The houseguests all are pretty well convinced that because they are getting unending air time on CBS and its subsidiaries, long careers in TV and film await them upon their eviction from said house. Can we name any BB alums that have gone on to megawatti entertainment careers?

I am really far behind on my magazines but I made a dent on the plane home and was really struck by the Britney cover story in Rolling Stone about how it all went terribly wrong. Reading the back story of her family tree and then how her handlers groomed and mishandled her is chilling. The poor girl never had a chance.

I learned that I can get away with eating stuff in the Midwest that I can't in NYC. Like Provel cheese, which seems to be added to every food item. I literally don't know if this cheese even EXISTS in New York. Does it???

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