'lil 40

'lil 40

Andy Cohen on turning 40.

It's my birthday on Saturday. 39.

39 is all about 40. So much so that it doesn't even count. It might as well be just skipped to 40. It's a birthday leap year.

A friend texted me yesterday wishing me a happy day. I thanked him, not knowing whether to point out that it is actually Saturday that's earmarked for happiness. I didn't want to embarrass him so I went along with it. He then told me that I share a birthday with Judge Glenda Hatchett. That was the final straw. I texted him back to let him know that the magic was happening on Saturday and to give Glenda my regrets. I already share a birthday with Jerry "The Beav" Mathers and Marvin Hamlisch. Do I need the misery of adding Judge Glenda Hatchett to that list of oddballs? Give a white man a break! Liza shares a birthday with Valerie Bertinelli. Now THAT is cool. I wish V-Bert and I shared a birthday. I bet that would put Saturday over the top. (I know it would.)

I feel like Liza has totally changed 39 for me. She's the star of the online sensation 39 Second Single. Now, all that I will think of when anyone asks my age will be to say that I'm 39 and single, like it says in Liza's intro. And then there's Amanda, who had her 40th birthday this year and titled her party "Forever 39". I am feeling that 39 really just cues up 40. And should just be called "'lil 40". I'm 'lil 40. I feel mature at 'lil 40.

For instance, the news today is all about the tuberculosis guy begging for everyone's forgiveness. How DARE he ask for us to forgive him putting the international community at risk by flying with a deadly contagious...oh wait here's his picture...very very handsome and the wife is a sexbomb. Um, ok, I am 'lil 40 and I am gonna go ahead and gaze at your picture and decide to forgive you TB man. You are divine. Would you newlyweds like to come to the Hamptons as my guest to celebrate my 'lil 40 birthday??? Pretty please!? The doctor says you can't? Oh please, a friend of mine had TB once and she partied for DAYS. You're FINE. Take a Z-pac and come.

The TB man, by the way, is 31.

You May Also Like...
Recommended by Zergnet