Jesus Hates Spencer

Jesus Hates Spencer

Andy Cohen contemplates the "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!' "

Hola from New Jersey, where I am taping the Jersey Housewives Reunion all day. If I am not back in the city by 8 p.m., somebody call my Mommy and tell her I ain't coming back. Ever.

Congratulations to Branden! The tall boy took it last night in a HUUUUGE upset on Make Me A Supermodel. The money seemed to be on Sandhurst or Jonathan, but the judges went totally gaga for Branden, and came out of there with a unanimous decision. Seems just like yesterday that the goofy farmboy was enchanting everyone at the audition (his first trip to NYC) with his story about the bj he'd gotten on the roof of the NY Hilton the previous evening! That's what you call: Destined to be a Supermodel. Congrats, Branden. There are many more bjs in your future. 

I can't believe I just wrote that. Gross. Sorry. Oversharing. (But I mean it's essentially true, right?)

Tonight is another new episode of The Fashion Show, and it's a good one. I know some of you were grousing about the show at first. Have you stuck with it or given it another chance? It's good! Did you see the article about Fern on HuffPo yesterday? I LOVED what she said.

And did you see Tuesday's Wall Street Journal? They featured a profile of a married guy with two kids who lost his powerful Wall Street job and is now the host at the Tribeca Palm. Carlos is an amazing guy and it's a wild story that everyone's picking up. It's the state of today, people ....

Speaking of the Palm, Bruce is unveiling the characatures of the 9 to 5 stars on Friday before their show at Palm West. And Dolly will be there too!

Are you watching I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here? I think I will be in and out of it until Big Brother starts, but I will NOT DVR it. I can't fully commit. In further proof that I am a total fool, this is essentially my first exposure to Spencer Pratt, given my uninvolvement with The Hills, and I am gobsmacked by the level of revoulsion he so effortlessly inspires. He is an awful person, truly, and I would venture to guess that the more he invokes Jesus, the more Jesus does not love him. I do not consider myself a scholar of JC, but I have a hunch that Jesus would not care for him ONE BIT. 

As an example of Spencer's working relationship with JC, he gave the example of praying to hang with Miley Cyrus and — lo and behold — having dinner with her LESS THAN A MONTH LATER! That's the power of faith, but people need kidneys and stuff, so don't take too much of His time, is all.

And this all brings up the larger issue of contestants on Big Brother or the like WASTING Jesus' time on their stupid "save me from the veto" prayers. I just think it is selfish Jesus-hoarding by potty-mouthed pouters who effortlessly go from dropping the F-bomb to the J-bomb in the blink of a fake eyelash. 

Speaking of fake eyelashes, New Jersey is really pretty! (But we knew that.) I gotta go.

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