Happy Cinco de Bravo!

Happy Cinco de Bravo!

Even if Jessica Simpson is on the cover of 'Vanity Fair,' Andy Cohen finds reasons to celebrate.

You didn't hear that Mayor Bloomberg named today "Cinco de Bravo??" He did! Well, he didn't. But he SHOULD HAVE.

Tonight is a big one on Bravo. At 10, it's the drama-filled finale of the NYC Housewives, and you can watch and comment along with the NYC Housewives with Bravo's first-ever virtual viewing party! Just go HERE to find out all the details.

This morning the Tony nominations were announced and lots of people I know were trying to get hooked up with the crack dealers that are supplying the nominating "committee." I'm psyched that they gave me even more reasons not to watch the show; they always do. Silly, silly people.

The Monkey Bar last night was insane and felt like a Cinco de Bravo pre-party. I spotted Bethenny Frankel, Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan, Nate Berkus, and owner Jeff Klein. Want to know how tired I was? Marc Jacobs and Madonna were having their Met Ball after-party there and were reportedly moments away from arriving and I split. That means I was ti-red.

You do realize that I hold VANITY FAIR in the highest esteem possible, right? I am like a one man advert for subscription sales. I love that magazine, their parties, their people, their world.  I am a devoted follower and fan, OK? I would even sign up for it's Facebook fan page if it had one.

Love. It.

So now I discover Jessica Simpson is on the cover of VANITY FAIR? Um. What? Is (features editor) Jane Sarkin playing a Cinco de Bravo prank of some sort? Is this REAL? It this happening? Has VF "jumped the Simpson??"

OK so the new world is here. 2009.  There is no Santa Clause. The TV networks are meaningless. Madonna's 50. Everybody's poor. The World Trade Center is gone. The ozone layer is gone. Soaps are over. There's a mess in Pakistan. There are no news stars. And Jessica Simpson is on the COVER of Vanity Freaking Fair.

I don't even need to explain myself. I just have to get my paint and picket signs and hustle over to Conde Nast.

Let me at least leave you with some good news: Obama's in office, Springsteen's still touring, and it's Cinco de Bravo.

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