Andy Cohen reports from the Emmy Awards!

Hi from LA. You can't believe the security getting into the Emmys. It is TV's Biggest Night, but how secure need it be? I wanted 1/100th of the cops to go to LAX and check baggage. Or just sniff around. Al Qaeda ain't trying to get to Eva Longoria. (That is my hunch I don't know it to be the case.)

In the lobby there was panic amongst TV's elite alcoholics that the bars weren't going to be serving booze during the show. I know that every year after we lose to "Amazing Race", we hit the bar to drown our sorrows and curse Phil Keoghan. The closed bar seemed to us like perhaps a sign that the Emmys would be shaken up a bit this year and sorrows would need no drowning. Oprah looked great at the top of the show, and having her there made it feel like it was going to be lofty. I thought the first bit with the reality hosts was no good. Was the point for them just to make reality? It was more boring than any reality show I've ever seen. It made "It's Complicated" look complicated. There was so much parody-able stuff they could've done with the hosts and the amazing people in the audience, but that adlibby thing was a nogo. Heidi was fierce, of course...

People in the audience seemed to think the show on a whole stunk, but I liked it. I actually thought the audience was no good. I felt bad for poor stars of "Laugh In" who reunited in a classic sketch and bombed. Liza (my date!) said that the producers should've sprung for an applause sign to help those three 70-year-old lady legends in their "Laugh In" drag. I agree. I can't believe the audience couldn't muster applause for the triple threat of Jo Anne Worley, Lily Tomlin, and Ruth Buzzi.

Um, Lauren Conrad presented an award? Wow. Every time they teased the Josh Groban thing I spewed a nasty "I don't need to SEE that". And sure enough it was one of the most entertaining things in the show. Poor Ed McMahon. Liza thought she saw Lee Majors five rows behind us and was obsessed all night. I saw Kathy Griffin during a commercial and she gave me a look that made me think that "Chef" or "Runway" was going to win. You always get your hopes up right before the category comes up, but that look told me that she knew something. What she knew was that she was going to be hilar presenting with Don Rickles. She got the crowd up for Rickles and I was glad because they were greased up to stand for Betty White an hour later.

We lost again to "Amazing Race". Losing actually sucks. I was one of the first supporters of that show and think they do an amazing job, but I am officially over the "Amazing Race". There was no losers-bar to cower in, but we hit the lobby anyway. I commiserated with Sir Tim, who looked very very handsome and was mobbed with fans.

At the Governor's ball, Kathy was looking for an ice cream sundae bar, Liza started talking to someone she thought was Tom Bergeron, and we had a lovely conversation with "Top Design" contestant Andrea Schroeder and her hubby. Andrea was wearing Daniel Franco's yellow dress around which she designed a window in last week's episode. I am such a fan of her husband's work on NYPD BLUE; He was INCREDIBLE on it. On our way out of the Governor's ball, Liza uttered five classic words: "Ruth Buzzi to your right".

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