Marg Helgenberger and Nancy Grace have nothing on ME when it comes to the most pertinent questions of the day. I don't always answer them, but they're certainly something to chew on...
WHAT ON EARTH IS BEYONCE SINGING ABOUT!
In Beyonce's addictive new single "Check on It", B sings: "Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it Dip it, pop it, twork it, stop it, check on me tonight." Which begs the question, what the hell does it mean to "Twork it"? I can't find "twork" at dictionary.com and did a general poll of the BRAVO staff who think it means anything from 'shaking it' to 'corking it' to 'busting a move on it' to 'flicking it' to something so pornographic that I can't describe it on this family site. Now I'm even confused about what 'it' is that we're 'tworking!' B, I'm quite certain that I am not ready for your jelly until I determine what you're singing about!
WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED WITH THE "STRANGERS WITH CANDY" MOVIE AND WILL IT EVER COME OUT?
The company that bought the film, Warner Independent, was in a quarrel with the producers over clearance issues. The producers bought the rights to the film back from Warner, and Amy Sedaris herself reported to me that the film should be out in June of this year! PS. It's funny, funny, and more funny!
WHAT ARE THE "PROJECT RUNWAY" JUDGES WRITING ON THEIR NOTECARDS DURING THE RUNWAY SHOWS?
Kors, Klum, Garcia, and company are scoring each dress as it comes down the runway. They score from 1-5 (5 is the best!) and also write down comments and questions that they'll soon throw at the designers.
WHY DOES KELLY RIPA SOMETIMES WEAR MORE THAN ONE OUTFIT IN A DAY?
If you closely watch Kelly, Katie, Diane, and other ladies of the morning, you might notice that their outfits and hair often change within a 15 minute period. They routinely pre-tape segments for their shows, but don't want you to know it. In theory, they try to match what they wear in the pre-tape with what they'll wear on the air date, but it doesn't always work.
WILL CLAY AIKEN SOON ASSUME THE MANILOW SLOT IN ALL OUR LIVES?
All signs point to yes. The Mani-loonies are making way for the Clay-mates. Allegations of gay-ness are abundant. They both have "distinctive" noses. And both men sing like angels! Could it be magic? Well, yes!
HOW DID THE FIRST LADY OF CBS GET HER START?
Julie Chen is not only a host of "The Early Show" - she's married to the head of CBS, Les Mooonves! The queen of the eye net - and host of "Big Brother" - started her career like many other great TV folk, she was an intern at the CBS morning show in 1989. Hey wait a minute, I was an intern with her at the CBS morning show in 1989! And I didn't get to marry ANYBODY! NOT FAIR!
HOW DOES TONY DANZA "PREPARE" FOR HIS SHOW?
If you're walking down Columbus Avenue around 9 am and hear what you think is a junior high band rehearsal, reboot and think again. It's actually Tony Danza getting revved up for his show. The talk show sensation plays the trumpet in his office every morning!
WHY DO MODELS OFTEN WALK LIKE THEY CAN'T?
I have no clue but I ask designers, bookers, agents, and janitors at 30 Rock this question all the time and nobody seems to have an answer. Many people refuse to notice or acknowledge that most runway models have the grace of a fawn. (I don't think fawn are very graceful, do you?)
WHICH DIVA WILL BEST PROVIDE MAXIMUM CARDIO BURN?
I've worked on the answer to this question for many years. Cher certainly has her moments and I went through a deep "All or Nothing" moment in the mid-90s when I would've given this to the former Mrs. Bono. Madonna is Madonna and I am especially looking forward to the Pet Shop Boys remix of "Sorry" which hits stores on Feb 28 (Feb 20 in the UK). But the Diva who will consistently motivate, give you energy, light a fire in your belly, make you smile and dance and run your tail off is none other than Whitney Houston. Set up an extended Whitney playlist on your Ipod and watch the pounds drop off!
SPEAKING OF FITNESS, HERE'S A VERY LOCAL, BUT BURNING, QUESTION FOR NYC/WEST VILLAGE RESIDENTS:
WHEN WILL THE VERY OLD MAN WHO WORKS OUT AT THE GREENWICH AVENUE EQUINOX FIGURE OUT THAT HE WEARS HIS TANK TOPS BACKWARDS?
I believe that this spunky exer-holic will perhaps not ever realize that his scooped-back is meant to cover his front and that his T-shaped back is now acting as some sort of lift-and-separate apparatus currently working overtime to manage his chesty business.