The Difference Between Threesomes, Orgies, and Trains — And Other Things You May Not Want to Ask

The Difference Between Threesomes, Orgies, and Trains — And Other Things You May Not Want to Ask

Beyond "happy endings," here are other sex terms that have been mentioned on Bravo shows that may need more explanation.

By Marni Eth
Preview
Kelly Dodd Learns About the Train Rumor

Vicki Gunvalson may be on the outskirts of The Real Housewives of Orange County crew this season, but she is at the forefront of the Kelly Dodd "train" rumor. (See for yourself in the clip above.) The rumor leads to much discussion among the ladies, and a realization that not everyone knows exactly what the term means.

Personal Space spoke to two sex experts to find out the differences between terms we've heard on Bravo shows over the years, and why it is so important not to cause shame for others' sexual experiences and choices.

Licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist Dr. Shannon Chavez is a Los Angeles-based expert who works with clients to address sexual concerns and build sexual awareness through therapy, coaching, and education.

When it comes to experimenting with sexual desires, Dr. Chavez explains, "We are naturally curious sexual beings and wired to try new things," and it’s important not to spread what friends share with you because "gossiping leads to stereotypes" and "judgments around sexuality can cause shame."

Dr. Chavez notes, "Exploring different types of intimacy and experimenting with other consensual adults" should be viewed as a positive thing, not a negative, because it "can provide personal growth and sexual empowerment."

According to Dr. Chavez, it’s important to learn different sexual terms because it’s a big part of “sex education” and so that you can "know what someone’s talking about— especially a partner." Another bonus is that knowledge is power — it can "reduce sexual shame and increase sexual confidence."

Dr. Chavez explains that there “are plenty of ways to learn more about sex and become familiar with terms.” Here’s a head start:

Sex Train

Dr. Chavez explains that a sex train (also known as a train bang) is "one person having sex with a group of people at the same time" — usually one person being the focus and others taking turns. This particular term can be used for “consensual or non-consensual sexual activity.” One reason that this particular sex act can be a detrimental rumor is because "it has been used in media and porn as a portrayal of rape" where a "line of men take turns having sex with a woman." It's especially not something a mother of a teen would want associated with her name.

Orgies vs. Threesomes

A sex train is very different from an orgy, which Dr. Chavez explains is a "group sex activity with more than five people" and "many people engaging in sexual activities at the same time.” A threesome is "sex with three people" and "is a common sexual fantasy" that is often a "bucket list activity" for couples.

Daniel Saynt, founder of NSFW, recently launched the PRo SEX Initiative which is focused on creating a safe, judgement-free community for sexual exploration. The organization is also working to change the law to prevent discrimination at work and housing for those who enjoy "not vanilla" sex lives.

Saynt explains that “someone else's sex life shouldn't be the point of your conversations” and “if you're going to discuss sex, know what you're talking about.” He also explains a few other terms that have been discussed on air.

Eskimo Brothers/ Sisters

Eskimo brothers is a term that has come up on WWHL in the past (with Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper), and more recently on the latest season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Saynt explains that this term refers to men or women who've had sex with the same partner at different points in time, so Denise Richards and Lisa Rinna discovered that their husbands were Eskimo Brothers because they were both previously married to Nicollette Sheridan. The same term can be used when women have had sex with the same man as well — Stassi, Brittany, and Kristen on Vanderpump Rules are all Eskimo Sisters, thanks to Jax Taylor.

Rim job

In Season 4 of Vanderpump Rules, James Kennedy accused Lala Kent of giving her ex boyfriend a "rim job" ... so what is it? Saynt explains that it’s known as "analingus" and refers to stimulating the anus with your mouth or tongue — "your nerve endings meet at your anus, creating a tight wound knot of pleasure sensors.”

Sex Dungeon

Before Kandi Burruss had her Welcome to the Dungeon burlesque show, there was a rumor that she had a sex dungeon in her basement. Saynt explains that "a sex dungeon can take on many shapes, but most are designed for BDSM play (Bondage, Domination, Sadist, Masochist)." The actual dungeon part "may have tables or areas designed for restraint and impact toys, ropes, or others devices for sexual pleasure."

Knowing the terminology for sex is important, but it's also important not to speculate about what others may be up to in the bedroom. Saynt notes that “propelling rumors, spreading gossip, or weaponizing female sexuality against other women are all forms of toxic femininity” — all of which should be eradicated.

Plus, being sexually adventurous has its perks. Saynt explains that "having a healthy and engaging sex life leads to a decrease in depression, stress, and anxiety."

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