Meghan King Edmonds says she is taking time to heal following husband Jim Edmonds' admission that he sent inappropriate texts to another woman during their marriage. But is it something you can really get over while staying married?
The Real Housewives of Orange County mom is also navigating the aftermath of her husband's infidelity while dealing with her son Hart's neurological condition, making things even harder — and blurrier. She needs her husband's support, but how do you ask for that when you feel betrayed?
Assuming the sexting has stopped, you must let your partner know that the only way the relationship has a chance to heal and move forward is if they agree to not do it again, says relationship expert and author Fran Greene.
She has some strong advice.
"The sexter must be willing to be transparent by encouraging and allowing the betrayed to have access to their phones, computer, and social media no matter how unfair and invasive it feels," Greene told Personal Space. "The betrayed partner is entitled to know what happened, why it happened, who it happened with, how long it has been going on, etc. It’s all about coming squeaky clean and telling the whole truth and leaving nothing out. If the betrayer leaves details out and the betrayed partner finds out, the relationship is doomed."
That's if it stands a chance, despite the betrayal.
In case you weren't sure where you stand on whether sexting is cheating, the topic gets a nearly unanimous "yes" on a Reddit page dedicated to the question.
"If a person feels the need to hide their behavior, then yeah, it's cheating," one commenter wrote.
Another said, "It is intimate. It's two people directly talking back and forth, saying things they couldn't say to a stranger or even friend. Stuff that's meant for you and you only to hear. Whether it isn't or isn't cheating, he still broke a promise to you."
As for the grieving and healing process following a discovery like that, it is based on what the betrayed needs — not the betrayer, Greene noted.
"Once the healing starts, it is the responsibility of both people to work on the relationship. It’s the perfect time to seek professional counseling to make sure that the couple is working on strengthening the relationship moving forward," she explained. "It is equally important for the person who was cheated on to do some soul searching. They need to ask themselves, what does my partner need and what can I do to ensure that our relationship flourishes? Healing is not a linear process. The pain and hurt will ebb and flow. What will make all the difference in the world is the depth of the apology of the cheater and the actions that follow, not the words. Infidelity does not have to be a death sentence for a relationship. It can actually be the wake up call the couple needs.
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