Yowza! Emotionally charged episode for me, right? It’s been rough re-living all of this.
I want to start by clarifying I do not feel as if I come from white trash. When I said, “I come from that,” I meant I constantly battle that stereotype living in L.A. When people meet me and hear a bit of an accent or find out I am from the Midwest, they assume I have never been to a city, and don’t know about fancy L.A. things. Growing up in the Midwest was the luckiest thing that has happened to me. You’ve seen my dad; he is an intelligent, wonderful human being, and so is the rest of my family. They have raised me to not judge on what type of dip you eat, the amount of money you have, or the color of your skin… amongst many other things. They have also taught me the term “white trash” is not a very nice phrase to describe anything; people or food. The values instilled in me by my parents are unwavering, and the constant love and support from my entire family has given me strength to pursue and achieve unimaginable goals.
I have apologized to Waylynn for over-reacting about the white trash comment. I absolutely understand she wasn’t calling me “white trash.” Totally get it. I think she and I differ on how we handle situations. If I ever hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally and they approach me about it in an adult manner, I absolutely feel bad. I say I am sorry, that’s how I was raised. In no way, shape, or form do I mean to hurt people, and if something is misconstrued and my actions are the cause of someone’s feelings getting hurt, of course I apologize! I think the reaction “if your feelings are hurt, that’s your shit”, is selfish, rude, and inappropriate. I never thought I would see a side of Waylynn like this, and it was very unpleasant for me. I was also taught growing up that saying “sweetie” as you are arguing with them is not very nice. It makes the other person feel belittled. I’m sure she didn’t mean that to be hurtful as well, but honestly I thought it was just plain rude. Some of the girls were saying (about me), “Oh… she’s going through a lot; she’s emotionally charged”, and while that is true, even if it would have been the happiest day of my life, I would still think Waylynn’s reactions were unbecoming. I really did have a girl crush on her up until that moment! The white trash dip has not ruined our friendship by any means. I still think Waylynn is a really cool chick, and I respect her immensely. I know I can never talk to her about my feelings because it will be “my shit” if she didn’t mean to hurt them or disagrees with me. Good to know.
It is a little intimidating that the girls can bond over cooking and baking. I don’t have a lot of friends because, until that weekend, my life had revolved around work. I’m still learning how to have personal relationships outside of work. It’s a lot harder to learn that as an adult, I think. That’s all for now. Be gentle on the comments folks, and remember: I know she wasn’t calling me white trash! Tweet me your thoughts! @justjessla